Do you realize you can have a lifelong effect on a stranger, by one single act of kindness? Imagine, years later, they’re still talking about it.
Imagine, at our age, sitting in a classroom through four periods of eighth-graders substituting and dealing with today’s challenges: cell phones, a disregard for authority, and a heightened uneasiness among students.
With only one week into retirement, I decided to trade in my hat, working with seniors, and take on the daunting task of toiling with today’s youth. I had to ask myself, am I crazy? As I contemplate finding a logical reason for being here, I look for justification.
There’s a past event in my life that occasionally pops up, reminding me. —– Never underestimate one single act of kindness; it can last a lifetime.
It goes back to when I was a waitress in my twenties working in a busy restaurant on Cape Cod. I don’t recall all the details, but what I learned, strangers you meet along the way can forever have an impact on how you treat others.
If you’ve ever worked as a server in a busy place, you understand the amount of effort involved in keeping patrons fed and happy. I have often compared this to the guy, spinning plates, who performed on the Ed Sullivan Show. Even a good server sometimes has no control over the timing and quality of the food delivered. The experience can be a nightmare.
It was a typically busy day at the Island Pagoda, where the dining room was as filled as the front lobby, where people were waiting for a seat. I had just finished serving a couple, their meal when I was returning to the kitchen. I could then hear his voice, echoing, across the room, “MISS GET OVER HERE!” What followed next, I don’t recall the exact conversation, but his shaming words struck me like a wounded animal, hurt, defenseless, and standing alone. It was then I noticed a man whom I had already served, get up still wearing his napkin, tucked in his shirt, walking over to the man speaking calmly but firmly.
——“Please do not speak to my waitress like that! You owe her an apology.”
And there it was, a moment in time even years later that has always stayed with me. A stranger, stepping up to the plate and speaking out on behalf of another. One act of kindness taught a young girl that peoples’ behavior does matter.
Back to the classroom, it was the last class of the day, and I was as ready as the students, to bolt out the door. I look around me and noticed the young man, overweight sitting alone, at a table, clutching onto his phone trying to ignore the crumbled pieces of paper, the other students, had been throwing in his direction all period, despite my orders to stop. I wanted to be that man with his napkin, still tucked in his shirt, walking across the dining room to confront the bully.
With time running out, I didn’t know what I could say to make the slightest difference. Even if I came up with something witty, the students wouldn’t hear me. Just before the bell was to ring, I opened the door and stood outside. Like a bolt of lightning, they filed out, one by one, as the young man appeared. I gently grabbed his arm and told him, “Thank you for being so patient with me. It’s hard as a sub to be taken seriously. Maybe the next time I’m here, you can help me.” He acknowledged my words with half a smile and walked off.
I vowed never to return but despite several calls I’m going back. I guess I need to give it another shot before I throw in the towel. I know I can’t save the world but maybe someday that young man when recalling his life might remember that sub who looked for comfort when giving it.
Thanks to my stranger, a mensch. I will always be grateful and continue to pay it forward.
—JMD
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